For anyone who knows me personally, they will vouch for the fact that I often do not struggle to talk. I love a good chat, long conversations over multiple coffees and can often find a multitude of mundane topics to waffle on about for hours on end: chatting away comes naturally to me, like swimming to a sea lion. I'm also a big advocate for expression of emotion- whether it's the need to cry, have a little moan or simply dance out of pure happiness- and I believe one should not hold back...
However, recently I have struggled to put my thoughts and feelings into words; my 'emotional flow' for writing had temporarily become still. Still there, but 'on pause' so to speak. Admittedly, my last blog took me much longer to write than normal, as I found it difficult to fully encapsulate the sheer joy of the experiences along with the love and gratitude I felt. Even with the memories still fresh, I wanted to accurately describe all of the special moments and 'do it justice' (as they say), but even as a writer, it can sometimes be tricky when it comes to 'putting it into words'.
After five months of travelling (seeing amazing sights, meeting many incredible people and having unforgettable experiences), I felt ready to come home. Although I was set to do Central America- staying out there until Christmas- I made the decision to postpone this next tour. With a few visa issues along with a fatigued body and mind, it made sense to change my plans. And now that I have, I am so pleased I did. Coming from a place of pure contentedness, I was already feeling extremely grateful to have experienced this much travelling thus wanted to stay in this state of appreciation, gratitude and reflection.
Although my time away was amazing, with those 'once in a lifetime moments', there is a side of travelling that is not often conveyed on social media or spoken about, and that is the physical and mental exhaustion that can come with it. The lack of routine and constant moving around (which sounds silly to say as it is the essence of travel!) can be tiring for many. As someone who thrives on routine, needs balance and is a self-confessed "creature of habit", I think I coped relatively well with this unfamiliar and spontaneous lifestyle. Relinquishing control, "going with the flow" and finding new rhythms in a forever changing schedule, were in fact a good lesson for me and it's definitely helped me to become more adaptable. Since I have returned home, I have found it much easier to live in the present - a mindfulness practice that I usually struggle with - and with this, a renewed sense of peace and grounding.
Coming home to spend time with family, friends and pets has felt really special. Being away from them and having that separation has perhaps served as a reminder to not take these things for granted. Since returning, there's been an element of hibernation (in regards to social media) and this has given me the necessary time to pause and recharge. And as stated before in my previous blog, it has given me that much needed time to "sit with" the lovely memories of the past five months.
Today's blog is much more stream of consciousness, so I apologise for the somewhat scatty exploration of expression here! But sometimes, it's the only way to "put pen to paper" as it were...
I am pleased with my decision to change my plans and I am pleased by my recent decision to take a break from social media. By listening to both my mind and body, I now feel ready to write the pages that will reflect on the past, explore the present and pave the way for the future chapters of my life. Sometimes the plans might change. Sometimes you might need to take a break. And sometimes it might be difficult to put your feelings into words. But that's okay. Listen to your body, listen to your mind and simply speak from your heart...
Thank you for reading my blog!
xxx
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